Sunday, December 7, 2008

I'll taste every moment, and live it out loud

It's just a few days away from the new year (: Is that not great? Like what most people feel right now, I too feel as if the year has gone by so fast. Too fast, maybe.

I did not expect an awesome year this year. With the biggest piece of my heart missing, I dreaded school. I was afraid to go back to school. I sometimes felt like shedding a few tears just thinking about school. Obviously, I did not have a choice. School is school. I went to school on the first day just to find out that my friends still had an attitude towards me. Being that they were all together most of the end year holidays, they were really tight. I hated school more.

Also seeing my class, filled with people that I did not know at all, I freaked out. Yeah, I should be making new friends and all, but I felt awkward. So this Indian girl settled down next to me on that first day of school. For days and days, we only talked about things on the line. She'll ask me if I have done my homework, or if she could take a look at my book. Oh yeah, I definitely loathe school then.

But, I continued to try to fit in again. Not by being someone I did not know, just being myself. And now, see? See the friends I have made. That Indian girl that sat next to me, she turned out to be a great company. I thought about how others suffer more than me, and I? I should not ever be given a chance to pout. I am perfect to some people, who barely have anything left. I still had my family and other friends. I most importantly, had God with me.

He went everywhere with me, He did not let go of me. This whole year, my biggest thanks goes to HIM. Maybe next year will be hectic or frustrating. It will be busy and full of brand new challenges that everyone will struggle with. If He is putting you in this test, basically, you know you can do it.

Maybe over the year I have pulled myself back from so many things. I just need time to adjust through it all. Everything is different now, I do not have my human role model with me, I do not have my anchor to help me, I do not have my dad to encourage me anymore. I did not want to make a wrong move, so I pulled myself back. Now, I know I need to try. You will definitely have up's and down's in this place. That's the way it was set to be.

Christmas is just round the corner, I cannot wait. Celebrating Jesus' birthday, it is like celebrating my own.

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